There are a lot of things running through my mind and I’m not sure what to grab first; where to start. My brain is like the electrical ribbon that runs through the big room on wall street!!
I’m really on this “what inspires me” road and, 1.5 days into it, it’s been interesting. I started the day yesterday feeling VERY inspired. By everything. I was the inspiration station, trains were pulling in and out all day; it was non-stop traffic. Have you ever sat down and felt like you have endless possibilities and unlimited potential? I think it’s got something to do with having nothing. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. If you’ve felt it or not, that was me yesterday.
I started thinking…I can do anything. I can literally start doing anything. There is no large amount of money at stake, I don’t have fans to lose, I don’t have a reputation to maintain…I can just…create. Oh my God! It felt amazing. So, I did what any person does when faced with endless creative possibilities: I watched television. I looked at fashion-themed tumblr pages. I talked to my cousin on the phone. I watched videos on YouTube (from the 90s, of course). I took a couple 5-minute-dance breaks.
It was research!! All of it!
Then I had it: kickstarter.com!!! I could fundraise and shoot something! I could shoot a movie! It’s what I want to do and I could make it a “dream come true”. I even thought about doing a web-series called “do dreams come true”. It would be non-fiction; basically my own ‘watch-me-follow-my-dreams’ reality show. I don’t really like reality shows but…I really want to shoot something. Scrap the reality show, but I wanna do a movie. I wanna do a series. I wanna do something narrative.
The next obvious step was to call someone for validation. If someone else doesn’t validate my inspiration, it’s clearly not valid, right? The first person I called didn’t answer. No worries, I’m not picky. I called someone else. She answered, she listened, she hhhmmm’d. She hhhmmm’d. Hhhmmm? I wavered. I explained.
I deflated.
She suggested that I had to do something “hot, original, innovative, something never done before”.
Naturally. Of course. I was definitely, for sure going to do something hot, original, innovative and never done before. It’s just…after we talked, I looked in my idea chest and SOMEONE STOLE ALL MY HOT, ORIGINAL, INNOVATIVE, NEVER DONE BEFORE IDEAS!!!! Where did they go?? They only left behind the lukewarm and been done before ideas! That’s okay, I’ll just come up with some new ideas. Except. These are all lukewarm too. And they’re not innovative. Holy crap.
I’ve got to get back on the imaginationinspiration train. And this time…NO GUESTS ALLOWED. Unless they have ideas. Unless their ideas are hot, original, innovative, something never done before. Talk about pressure, right? My idea chest dried up like a…well, it dried up. That’s what’s important.
And I’m back to square one. Creative girl in search of ideas.
Be Fearless,
E.
Eliyannah, Direct 